my soul rejoices

Praying Boldly Part 2

As Hebrews 13:4 declares, “Marriage is honorable among all,”

A Bold Approach to Getting Married
by Candice Watters

"For Sharon, the start of a new year was the beginning of a new way of thinking about being single. Instead of looking out with dread over a dateless landscape, she decided to approach 2006 differently. Her boldness made all the difference.

The List of 30

I met Sharon at a Bible study where the topics of marriage and motherhood came up often. In our group of 13, four of the women were never married. Sharon was one of them. In her mid-twenties, she was still younger than the average age of first marriages, but she knew from her many still-single friends who were 30 and beyond that it was never too soon for a woman to be intentional.

"I remember in Bible study how you were talking one day about praying boldly," Sharon said. "I was already praying for myself and my single friends. When I thought of it, I prayed for them. But talking to you helped me get serious about things."

Sharon listed all her unmarried friends who desired marriage—30 in all—and on January 1, 2006, she emailed everyone on the list. She told them about her plan—a commitment from everyone on the list, to pray for everyone on the list—and asked them to join.

Not everyone was enthusiastic. Some of her friends had to pray about praying before they agreed. To them it was such a bold, untried approached that they worried about putting God on their timetable or demanding something of Him. Others knew He was capable but wondered if He'd do it for them. Still Sharon went forward. "God put the idea on my heart and I was eager to follow through. James says, 'we do not have because we do not ask,' and I realized I didn’t want to be single simply because I wasn't asking God for a husband."

By February she had emailed out the official prayer list to the girls and except for one who declined the invitation to join, they were praying.

"Never had I heard of 30 women joining together like this to share their prayers, fears, challenges and joys as they went on dates, had failed relationships, etc.," Sharon recalls.

There's Bold, and Then There's Bold

Isn't it dangerous to pray with such fervor? What if God doesn't answer with a husband after all? Won't it damage the faith of the pray-er? Those are the kind of questions I often hear from readers of Boundless, singles who wonder if it's OK to pray with insistence, intensity, and passion for a husband. It's like Sharon's friend who wasn't sure it was OK to spend a year praying for a husband for herself and her 30 single friends. She needed to pray about whether it was OK to pray about that. But that's exactly the kind of praying Jesus told us to practice. (Think Bartimaeus and the Persistent Widow in Luke 18.)

I believe it's worth the risk of disappointment to pray boldly. For all the damage done by two generations of feminist activism, think of the positive change that could come if a generation of women prayed faithfully for Godly marriages. When you pray, it changes you, transforming your character and making it possible to live daily like you're planning to marry. But beyond that, such prayer can transform a whole community: families, churches, small groups, college campuses, workplaces, wherever the faithfully praying women spend their time. Imagine in the midst of our postmarriage culture, small counter-cultures springing up where marriage is honored, men are respectfully motivated, women are cherished, mentors are working on your behalf, purity is esteemed; in short, where everyone is striving for the set-apart life Paul described in 1 Thessalonians 3:11–4:8.

Bold prayer works. Just ask Sharon. By the time you read this article, she'll be on her honeymoon.

An Update on the List of Thirty

One of the most encouraging inclusions in Get Married was the story about my friend Sharon's decision to ask 29 of her close friends to join her in dedicated prayer for husbands. The group of 30 agreed to begin in January of 2006. When they started, all of the women were single.

Since then, I've periodically checked in with Sharon for an update on how the women are doing. And as of her latest report, sent Sunday, the list of marrieds is growing.

As for the list from what I know from people there are 15 married, 1 engaged and 4 dating. It was fun looking through the list and thinking about all the women and the vastly different stories God has written for all of us. I wish more women could see it and experience it to know there is not just one way to meet a man, that there are still amazing men out there and they are well worth the wait, even if it takes into your thirties. Oh, and there are 5 babies and 1 on the way (as far as I know).

I was encouraged by her update. I hope you will be, too!"

This is my proposal:
I would like to start a prayer group/list of sorts similar to what Candice's friend, Sharon did in the above story.
I would compile the list of those who are interested and post it.
The idea is a simple one: to commit to pray for marriage for yourself (if you so desire it) and for others who also desire it. As long as you are not married or engaged, you qualify! And if you are married or engaged, but desire to pray for others, you can! Just let me know and I will also give the list of names to you.
We will go by a first name, last initial basis. (ie. Jaclynn R.) and as updates or needed, I will compile those, as well as provide some encouragement from time to time I hope.
Please feel free to pass this on to friends.
my soul rejoices

Praying Boldly Part 1

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

In her book,Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen (Paperback), Candice Watters has a chapter entitled "Pray Boldly" and here is an excerpt from it that I wanted to share.

Pray Boldly by Candice Watters

Have Faith

When I was single, I used to pray for a husband like this, "Oh God, please don't make me be single my whole life. I really want to be married. Oh I hope it's not your will for me to be single. I don't think I could do it! Please bring someone into my life soon, very soon. But help me to be patient in the meantime. And God, if you do want me to be single — but I hope you don't — please give me the grace for it because I really don't feel it. Did I mention how much I hope that's not your will for me?"

I wish I had read about Bartimaeus back then. It wasn't until recently that his story, recorded in Mark 10:46-52, leapt off the page.

When Bartimaeus, the blind beggar, heard that Jesus was approaching he shouted, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" The exclamation point emphasizes his volume. In a book known for economy of words and punctuation, it's clear this was no timid request. Even as the crowd rebuked him, telling him to be quiet, the Bible says "he shouted all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!"

His clamor was rewarded. When Jesus asked Bartimaeus, "What do you want me to do for you?" he replied, "Rabbi, I want to see." He was frank about what he wanted — fully expecting healing. And he knew Jesus had the authority to do it, acknowledging Him as, "Jesus, Son of David."

And Jesus did. "Immediately he received his sight," the Bible reports. But it wasn't his flattery, his neediness, or even his volume that made the difference. As Jesus said, "your faith has healed you."
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(Also to note, Candice and her husband have now started a new website called Marry Well that may be of interest to you.)

Since it is a new year, albeit 3 weeks into the new year, I had an idea that is quite persistent and feel led to bring it forth and see if there is any response. Stay tuned for part 2.